11:14 AM, Sun, 05.12.21
Came home after around three weeks. I knew it pretty well; that will be the last time you will see your nanu vai in a sane condition, at least. But I got astonished to see how far things could change in only three weeks. He can’t talk, doesn’t have any sense to do anything, literally anything. He has got infections all over his body. The only thing he has been left to do is groan in utter pain. I can only see and stand there. The same goes for the doctors, they are trying, but they can only do so much.
I used to think, ‘Numb the Pain’ is not a good ideology. But now it makes more sense. When things get worse each day, what else can we do but ‘Numb the Pain’.
And seek help through patience and prayer; and indeed, it is difficult except for the humbly submissive. [Al-Baqara 45].
Patience is indeed a quiet thing hard to keep. So what can we do is ‘Numb the Pain’; if possible, try to make things better cause God helps those who help themselves.
And one more letter to my Lord. Why do things have to be like these? I know millions of other people like nanu vai are in such pathetic and hapless condition, groaning in pain. And at the same time, there are millions of other people who are in luxury. Couldn’t the balance have been a little bit better? Why do You have to test us in this fashion? Worship is all You want, right? Then why have You installed such an amount of injustice? And why do You need our worship? Your level of Greatness is independent of whatever we say to You. This world seems to me like a house of cards. Give me the answers. Till then, I am done with this world of Yours.
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