Exposure

550pm, 10.10.21

It’s been four days since I returned home from yet another Sylhet tour. I went with nine friends from my department. As I have stated before, tours usher experiences with literally priceless lessons. Sleep problems and hair loss kept me numb from social activities. I don’t know if it sounds weird or not, but I really can’t hurt others even if its weight is almost negligible. I felt that my presence was not fitting with these pomp people and that maybe I was ruining their photos (and eventually their trip). I kept myself aloof. Apart from my social awkwardness, I did enjoy their company and the scenic places of Sylhet. I took the above picture from reflection on water. And I am still amazed that I could take it. Most probably, they got me wrong. I am not like this. My torments kept me numb. I was jittery cause I wanted to overcome my demons. Maybe one day I will. But what I have learned is that I need more exposure. Cause I still don’t know if I really was an eyesore or that I was overthinking. Some more harsh experiences will lead me to answers. Till then, stay strong; you have your Lord beside you. Slowly but surely, you will get to see what it was meant to be.